Eight Ways To Banish Low Self-Esteem For Good1. People with low self-esteem have subconscious behaviors that hinder career advancement and sabotage their chances of getting a job. But engaging in certain behaviors can actually boost your confidence. Here are eight tips to give your self-esteem a makeover..
2. Go ahead, talk to yourself
3. Get an accountability partner
According to psychologist Ellen McGrath, founder of the Bridge
Coaching Institute, a great way to raise your self-esteem is to set–and
accomplish–new goals involving aspects of your job that make you
unhappy. The best way to ensure success: Ask someone else hold you
accountable–like a career coach or someone from your social
network–because you’ll feel obligated to follow through with your plan.
4. Fake it until you make it”
4. Fake it until you make it”
According to Lois Frankel, Ph.D., the country’s top CEOs don’t
necessarily have high self-esteem, they’re just better at masking their
insecurities. Faking a high self-esteem by feigning confidence will not
only make you look more effective to your superiors–which can mean a
raise or promotion–but can actually lead to a real self-esteem boost.
What you’re doing is tricking your mind into making certain behaviors
second nature, and pretty soon, they will be.
5. Speak up, but say less
5. Speak up, but say less
There is a time and a place for everything, but keeping mum during a
meeting is highly unadvisable, as the first two to three people to
speak up are seen as more self confident. Just be sure not to talk too
much. Women in general use too many words to soften their message and
end up looking like they lack confidence. Cut your word count by a
quarter and present the most important pieces of information first.
6. Modify your behavior
It’s not easy to change behaviors that have been ingrained from a
young age, but if you find yourself apologizing before you speak or
engaging in “uptalk” (saying your statements as if they are questions),
which are both low self-esteem giveaways, nip the behaviors in the bud.
By merely acknowledging your tendency to do these things, you can begin
to change them.
7. Take on more challenges
6. Modify your behavior
It’s not easy to change behaviors that have been ingrained from a
young age, but if you find yourself apologizing before you speak or
engaging in “uptalk” (saying your statements as if they are questions),
which are both low self-esteem giveaways, nip the behaviors in the bud.
By merely acknowledging your tendency to do these things, you can begin
to change them.7. Take on more challenges
By taking on more challenges at work, you’ll transcend your comfort
zone and realize that fear can’t stop you. You’ll also show your
superiors that you’re confident and have leadership capabilities.
Remember, nothing boosts self-esteem like a track record of success.
Being successful at even one new task can do wonders for your mental
health. And if you’re worried about failing, don’t be. Most successful
businesspeople have fallen on their faces at one point or anther. The
difference is they’ve gotten back up and started over.
8. Accept praise
8. Accept praise
Charles Healy, a professor emeritus at UCLA who has been studying
self-esteem and career development for four decades, says a hallmark of
people with low self-esteem is not being able to accept praise. So next
time your boss tells you you’re doing a good job, accept the complement
graciously. If nobody recognizes your hard work, find your own praise.
Let people know what you’ve been up to. ” Don’t push it under a rock,”
says Healy.
Signs of Low Self-Esteem
Frankel identifies certain traits in individuals with low work self-esteem: Generally, they are people with low confidence who are risk-averse. They are less likely to speak up in meetings or to take on challenging tasks, which can lead superiors to believe they are ineffective. None of which is good when you’re fighting to stay afloat in a competitive work environment.
Low self-esteem may also manifest itself through body language and presentation. Sharon Fountain, president of the National Association for Self Esteem, points to “uptalk” as a particular culprit. That is, saying all of your statements as though they are questions, which makes you seem less confident. Speaking too quietly, which denotes fear, and not making enough gestures to emphasize points and convey energy can also betray you in important work settings, especially when it comes to landing the job.
Effects of Low Self-Esteem
These subconscious behaviors may evolve out of a fear of rejection, but they actually have the effect of being deal breakers during an interview.
It’s a double-edged sword, explains Nathaniel Branden a California-based psychologist and pioneer in the field of self-esteem, since “the fear of being rejected leads to … behaviors that ensure your fears come true.”
In fact, one of the most dangerous behaviors that people with low self-esteem tend to exhibit is pessimism.
A person with low self-esteem may ask for a raise this way: “I realize we’ve had a bad year and there have been layoffs, but I’ve been doing more work and I think I deserve a raise.”
“You just gave [your superior] ammunition to say no.
Instead of highlighting the negative, I advises a positive approach backed up by hard-core evidence: Try something like, “In the past 12 months, I’ve taken on 25% more responsibility and have been working more hours and I think I deserve to be compensated.”
“Now you haven’t set yourself up to fail.
Managing Low Self-Esteem
The concept of self-esteem has been around since about the 1940s and has been contested for almost as long. But whether or not our culture is responsible for ever-increasing self-worth issues, the fact remains that people with higher self-esteem have better work experiences than their less confident counterparts.
people with high core self
evaluations, or positive self-concepts, had increased levels of job
satisfaction, better job performance, higher income, higher work
motivation and reduced stress and burnout. Ironically, men are better off when it comes to self-esteem on the job, not because they don’t have self doubts, but because low confidence manifests differently for women than it does men. “Men are better at masking it,” some one said...
Some of the biggest mistakes women make include asking permission to do things and over-explaining yourself, which can belittle your message. One quick fix is trying to use 25% fewer words in conversations and e-mails so as not to dilute your point.
On the flip side, “lack of confidence can be a supreme driver, leading people to become workaholics,” says Fountain, who notes that people with low self-esteem can accomplish just as much as their more confidant counterparts. “They just may not have enjoyed the process or have as much fun doing it.”
Banishing Low Self-Esteem for Good
Unfortunately, we’re fighting a losing battle. In the past decade work has gone from being a source for self-esteem to being a self-esteem drainer. Demand for productivity has grown so much that most of us feel as if we aren’t doing enough, no matter how much we actually accomplish.
But there are things you can do to boost your self-esteem anyway. Frankel goes by the adage, “fake it until you make it.” This will not only convince your superiors, but it will also help you rejigger your thought processes.
Changing less-than-ideal-behaviors, like a propensity to stay mum in
meetings, is another good idea: The first two to three people to speak
during a meeting are seen as more self-confident, and “in
business, that pays off.”Fountain emphasizes that self-esteem can be learned. It may sound silly, but positive self-talk can be empowering. So when those negative thoughts telling you you’re not good enough pop into your head, recognize them and replace them with positive ones.
“What you’re doing is working with the unconscious mind,” she explains, “which is extraordinarily powerful and extremely stupid.” In other words, it is perfectly within your power to fool your unconscious mind, allowing you to banish low self-esteem for good.
It is possible.
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